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Thoughts from Silke

The in-between stage

  • February 24, 2020
  • by Silke Whittaker

The “in between” time is a bit strange. The boat has been found and purchased, the house and everything in it has been sold. My yoga studio is gone, Tim has his last week of paid employment and his business is almost wound up. He leaves on the 5th March, Lucy on the 17th and me and the kids on the 18th. On the 20th March we will all be reunited in Athens in Greece and finally be able to start our new life.

We have had many conversations and interactions with friends and people we don’t know in the last few months about our change in lifestyle. And I think we all agree that we are slightly over talking and just want to start our new journey now.

Often people say “not long to go now, are you excited” and the answer for me is no, I am not. I don’t actually know how I am feeling at the moment. We have just let go of EVERYTHING we know all at once. Our businesses, our jobs, our home, our surroundings. We have already said so many good bye’s not only to things but also to people. There are so many “lasts” I can’t actually process anything more at this stage – I have shut up shop in the processing department until there is space and time to digest what just happened. I think the children feel the same – they don’t really want to talk about how they feel anymore.

And then there is the moments where we have to pinch ourselves. I can’t actually quite grasp that this us us doing this – almost like movie or a parallel universe. We were a perfectly normal family until 6-8 months ago and now we have turned our world upside down. This is something that usually other people do and we watch a bit envious, but crawling back to our comfort. There is no hiding or comfort now – we are all in – its on us – its us… How did that happen??? Its a bit more real for Tim as he’s been in Greece and seen & experienced the boat. For the kids and me its still just photos and imagination.

The whole experience feels like a major cleanse in all departments really. We feel so so grateful and blown away by the support that we receive from so many people and friends in varying ways. Its very humbling to know so many people can identify with our “WHY” and we have had so many conversations that really firmed up our belief that we are on the right track, because so many other people struggle with exactly the same things that led us to here. To have that encouragement and support means the world to us.

We also had to digest and figure out how to deal with people who can’t identify with what we are doing and are less than supportive at a time when we feel wobbly & vulnerable at best, going through such a major and scary lifestyle change with 2 kids in tow. Luckily there are only few of those, but it was a good lesson to establish firm boundaries around our little family unit, especially since we are going to share our life quite publicly.

All in all I am so proud of us, how we managed to get this stage without any major problems or break downs. I am so proud of our children too, how well they cope with all a huge changes. We have been living in friends houses out of bags for 2 months now and while there were a few tears here and there they have been mostly fine and like us learning important lessons from all of this.

A big shout out here to Stephan & Sandra who allowed us to stay at their house for 7 weeks while they were away. It made dissolving our household so easy and it was divine timing. I don’t know how we would have managed without this. And to our friends Debbie & Brent who invited us into their home and put up with our tribe in their own 4 walls for 1.5 months until we leave. I don’t even know how to thank them for their generosity and kindness for holding our whole family through this transition.

Tim has been coping so well with getting his head around all his courses, finding the boat, researching endlessly and tirelessly boat stuff that we need to organise and being present at his job at the same time. I think we all hold the ceiling up for each other when we feel a bit weary.

I have been organising things like our medical kit, sorting our bank and money things, winding up our companies, get wills & power of attorney stuff sorted, get my head around whats needed for the schooling and the usual household stuff. There are still lots of things on the to do list that are less important, like spotify playlists, assemble recipe book for boat, update websites, packing and organising transport for our boxes that go to greece, researching health insurance etc.

We just had a lovely weekend with sailing friends from Lake Rotoiti where this beautiful photo of Tim and I was taken by Luca – I think he’s got his dads photography talents.

So this is a bit about this in between stage. It feels a bit like the making of a butterfly. I truly belief that we all go through several transformations in our lifetime. It feels as if we just about to shed that Caterpillar skin. Its a painful and complicated process to transform from an egg to a Caterpillar to a butterfly. But I can almost feel the wings growing and emerging. I know we will be a butterfly soon – it always happens (unless you are unlucky enough to run out of food or meet a Praying Mantis or my dad along the way…). I also know that there will be many more transformations to come for each of us. Its part of this miraculous and amazing opportunity we have been given – life.

Thank you for being here and for your support and encouragement. xxx

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